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August 2018 - Enchantment Under The Sea

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Wedding addict

So had a bit of a surprise yesterday morning – I’ve recently started following our venue on Facebook as it was recommended to me. I was scrolling through facebook sleepily in the morning and came across a post from them showing off the changes to their outdoor ceremony area, which has been paved over, benches installed and trees planted. It was a complete shock because at no point have we been made aware that they were planning any changes to the ceremony area.

 

I was quite upset for a few reasons – I don’t like the new design as much, I really liked the cute informal air of how it previously looked with all the lovely grass and it now feels very different and much more formal. The lovely chairs which matched our colour scheme have been replaced with black benches that don’t look especially comfortable, and I’m not sure how flexible it will be to seat guests in wheelchairs (as my uncle is in a wheelchair – I don’t want him sat apart from the other guests right out on the end of a row or something.

 

I was also really miffed because I have been working hard making decorations for the ceremony area, including spending last month doing handmade fabric pew ends which I really love. They were designed to go on the ends of chairs along the aisle, and they won’t work with the new set up of the ceremony area – they’re way too long to go on the ends of benches, and I think they would look fairly ridiculous if we cut them to half the length, it just wouldn’t work. So I now have a bunch of useless pew ends that we’ve spent time and money making, and have to work out how to decorate quite a different ceremony space with different constraints (for instance some of our other decorations are designed to be stuck into the grass so can’t be used in a paved area – they can still be used elsewhere on the site I think, but obviously they won’t be useable in the actual ceremony area) so it’s basically back to the drawing board on the ceremony area decorations, with less than two months to go until the wedding! As I’ve been trying to hand-make everything to keep costs down that is a really big stress to suddenly have appear.

 

This is how it looked previously:

 

 

And this is how it looks now:

I have emailed them about it and they’ve sent a holding response but not had a full reply. What do you guys think? I don’t think it’s unreasonable to expect to be kept informed of major changes to one of the key spaces for our wedding venue is it? They kept us informed when they were introducing new bedrooms on site so it seems bizarre to me to let us know about that but not this.

 

I’m trying not to blow it out of proportion, but I am feeling really quite stressed out by it. I know it's not the biggest change ever and it's not like they've totally bulldozed the pavilion or something, but it's the impact on the plans and my timescales for making all the decorations and things that's so frustrating. Has anyone experienced anything like this previously?

 

New bride

I do think they should have let you know what they were planning. I would ask of the benches are attached to the floor, as if not, they may be accomodating and replace the benches with the chairs for your ceremony? Could you also use what you have planned to put in the grass around the edge of the paving, so make it a bit like a border. Im sorry its causing you to panic and stress. Thats the last thing we all need when planning a wedding!!

Bridezilla

I agree, ask if the benches are permanently fixed, and if not, ask if you can have the chairs for your wedding.

I do think you should have been informed as it has changed the character of the area slightly, but it is still beautiful. Maybe they have paved the whole seating area to make it easier for wheelchair users?

My planning thread: http://www.youandyourwedding.co.uk/forum/your-planning-threads/town-centre-barn-wedding---august-2019/452338.html

Wedding addict

Thanks guys :) I've been in touch with them and they've said it wasn't possible to move the benches (although they can move one small section at the front to accommodate one wheelchair or two elderly/mobility impaired people who need proper chairs... not sure what you're supposed to do if you have more than one guest in a wheelchair or a number of elderly guests!)

I've not been impressed with their response so far to be honest although we've been away this weekend at a wedding so not replied back yet. They've spent a lot of time justifying why they've done it (which I don't have an issue with - it's their venue after all) but not addressed the actual issues I have which is the lack of communication etc.

They've said they expect guests to keep up to date with changes via social media, which is not something they've ever told us before (and I think in any case they only announced this change on their social media after it was done anyway!). And they've suggested things like using shepherd crooks to hang the pew ends around the edge of the area which a) they're expensive to hire, it's not like I have them lying around! And b) the bit I really cared about being decorated is the aisle itself, not the area around the edge of the seating. So I still feel like I'm going to have to plan further decorations. 

Has anyone had anything like this happen before? I'm not sure if I should be asking for some kind of compensation for it given the waste of time and money.  Also a bit anxious because I specifically asked in my email if there had been any other significant changes we should be aware of, and they completely ignored the question...

Wedding addict

Latest update - I've contacted the venue again and we're agreeing when I can go in to talk to them. I'm hoping I'll like the changes more in person and I'm trying to think of ways to use the decorations I have already, as well as coming up with some kind of plan for the new set up. I just really want a lovely decorated aisle, it's the key bit for me.

Slight frustration yesterday when we finally got a quote we've been waiting on for 3 weeks from a local restaurant and it was stratospherically out of our price range.  We're trying  to find somewhere for the families and wedding party to meet for chill drinks and food the night before and its been so difficult! I found a lovely venue we could have for free in a local bar but the space isn't really big enough. Lots of other places wanted big 'venue hire' fees which I think is a bit ridiculous when we're bringing 30 odd people for food and drink.

Thought we'd found a great venue in a small restaurant in the next town over which normally is amazing value for money... but after chasing for ages for our quote after we met with them, it finally arrived and they wanted a huge venue hire fee and doubled what we'd normally spend there on food per person. It's just disappointing, especially because I tried asking for a vague idea of costs before we even met with them and we could have saved a lot of time!

 So now I think we're just going to hire a cheap church hall type venue and get people to bring food and drinks for a potluck supper... will be so much cheaper and hopefully still fun!

Bridezilla

Could you go somewhere more chain-type like a Harvester... at least then you'll only have to pay for what you're getting! I know it's not exactly gourmet but it is chilled!

My planning thread: http://www.youandyourwedding.co.uk/forum/your-planning-threads/town-centre-barn-wedding---august-2019/452338.html

Wedding addict

MrsCToBee wrote (see post):

Could you go somewhere more chain-type like a Harvester... at least then you'll only have to pay for what you're getting! I know it's not exactly gourmet but it is chilled!

Totally a sensible suggestion! The only reason we're not going for something like that is we really don't want a sit down meal - as a lot of H2B's family live in Japan most of the families haven't met so we really want to encourage people to mingle as much as possible :)

Bridezilla

Ah I see....what about just all going to a pub with a big garden and lots of seating and just ordering food as and when you fancy it, or ordering a few big sharing platters for people to dig into while they chat? 

Random suggestion but ring the pub nearest to the local cemetery/crematorium as they will be used to doing wakes which is basically people standingaround having a few nibbles 😂😂

For my OH's 30th after a family meal we met lots of friends and just went to a local large pub. I rang ahead and explained we would be a large group and they were happy to reserve an area for us with no charge and I paid for a few platters of nibbles. You may find pubs are more accommodating to that sort of thing than restaurants.

My planning thread: http://www.youandyourwedding.co.uk/forum/your-planning-threads/town-centre-barn-wedding---august-2019/452338.html

Wedding addict

MrsCToBee wrote (see post):

Ah I see....what about just all going to a pub with a big garden and lots of seating and just ordering food as and when you fancy it, or ordering a few big sharing platters for people to dig into while they chat? 

Random suggestion but ring the pub nearest to the local cemetery/crematorium as they will be used to doing wakes which is basically people standingaround having a few nibbles 😂😂

For my OH's 30th after a family meal we met lots of friends and just went to a local large pub. I rang ahead and explained we would be a large group and they were happy to reserve an area for us with no charge and I paid for a few platters of nibbles. You may find pubs are more accommodating to that sort of thing than restaurants.

Yeah it's also a possible alternative - we're planning on doing that for a late lunch the day after the wedding with whoever's still in town, so ideally wanted to do something different for the day before :)

Wedding addict

One Month To Go

As of tomorrow, it's a month to go! Eek!

Started contacting suppliers and making final payments and things... it's strange, in some ways I feel stressed because there's a lot left to do - but in other ways I almost feel surprised there isn't more to do! At this point its mostly small bits and bobs and admin really. The slight issue is we only have 1 free weekend now before the wedding so we really need to crack on with sorting things out in the evenings.  

The main things we have left to do:

- Sort out orders of service, table numbers, and place names

- Make up the favours

- Actually practice the first dance!

- Write up order for the day and instructions for decorating the venue

- Sort out meeting place for lunch the next day

- I really want to make my own hair vine but time is running out...

- Finalise and finish off making bits of decorations etc.

- Final meeting with venue and supply all key documents

- Sort out music (CD or ipod or something)

It doesn't sound so terrible when you put it like that... now I'm wondering what I've forgotten lol. 

Bridezilla

Really love your thread and especially your cake illustrations! Can't wait to see more :)

Cecilia x

My planning thread : http://www.youandyourwedding.co.uk/forum/your-planning-threads/relaxed-summer-wedding-in-the-chilterns/454084.html

Wedding addict

Next up one of my favourite areas of planning...

Wedding Shoes

I knew I wanted my outfit to be a bit more colourful than just having everything white, and I always thought one of the best things you can do that with is shoes! I really had a clear vision in my head of wanting glittery/sequined mint green shoes with a touch of gold. I searched for ages with no luck, and then in the January sales one day when I wasn't even particularly looking for wedding stuff, I came across these shoes by Irregular Choice:

I fell in love straightaway (the sale price didn't hurt...) and ordered a pair, it took a while to actually find them in the right size because as it was sale season a lot of the retailers only had these shoes available in very small or very large sizes.

They're living upstairs in my wardrobe - I started breaking them in at the weekend as it's only 4 weeks to go, but I don't want H2B seeing them until the day of the wedding (although he will be infinitely less excited about them than I am), so trying to only wear them when he's not in the house. 

For another sneaky touch of colour and a nod to the theme and the fact I work as a mermaid, I also ordered these invisible mermaid scale tights from a seller called virivee on Etsy. I think they're really fun and no-one will see them under the dress unless I decide to show them off anyway :) 

 

New bride

Those shoes are gorgeous,  I've been thinking of treating myself to a pair of irregular choice shoes for my wedding.  What is the fit like on them ? 

Wedding addict

The fit is great actually, I usually am very prone to getting blisters in new shoes but they're a lot more comfy than I was expecting especially given the heel is actually much higher than it looks.

Bridezilla

cloudatlas wrote (see post):

Next up one of my favourite areas of planning...

Wedding Shoes

I knew I wanted my outfit to be a bit more colourful than just having everything white, and I always thought one of the best things you can do that with is shoes! I really had a clear vision in my head of wanting glittery/sequined mint green shoes with a touch of gold. I searched for ages with no luck, and then in the January sales one day when I wasn't even particularly looking for wedding stuff, I came across these shoes by Irregular Choice:

I fell in love straightaway (the sale price didn't hurt...) and ordered a pair, it took a while to actually find them in the right size because as it was sale season a lot of the retailers only had these shoes available in very small or very large sizes.

They're living upstairs in my wardrobe - I started breaking them in at the weekend as it's only 4 weeks to go, but I don't want H2B seeing them until the day of the wedding (although he will be infinitely less excited about them than I am), so trying to only wear them when he's not in the house. 

For another sneaky touch of colour and a nod to the theme and the fact I work as a mermaid, I also ordered these invisible mermaid scale tights from a seller called virivee on Etsy. I think they're really fun and no-one will see them under the dress unless I decide to show them off anyway :) 

 

I LOVE both of these and am super jealous of your mermaid-ness!

Those shoes are just spectacular 😍

Cecilia x

My planning thread : http://www.youandyourwedding.co.uk/forum/your-planning-threads/relaxed-summer-wedding-in-the-chilterns/454084.html

Wedding addict

Haha thank you <3 I love them too! :)

Another area where I tried to add a touch of colour (after a few attempts) was...

The Veil

After trying on dresses, I knew I wanted a veil and I was confident the best style to go with my dress was quite a plain veil with a cut edge. I preferred a single-tier veil (I just think I would get really annoyed with something hanging over my face!) and was pretty confident I wanted a floor-length veil as again I just felt it went best with the dress.

I discovered the concept of ombre veils on Pinterest and I just fell in love with the idea, I thought it was such an awesome way to get a bit of colour into the outfit while keeping it 'wedding'-y. Given my colour scheme the choice was either green or blue, and given my choice of shoes and tights, green felt like it made the most sense! 

Some inspo:

I didn't want to spend a fortune on it and I found it quite difficult to find an ombre veil that wasn't crazy expensive online, so.... I decided to make my own. I bought three very cheap veils online from JJ's House (heard mixed reviews about this website but I found them quite good). After a lot of back-and-forth with a member of staff at the supplier (I needed to know whether the tulle was made from nylon or polyester, because different types of material need different types of dye, but the lady answering my emails kept just saying it was made of tulle lol!) I bought some polyester fabric dye. It's not easy to find in the right colour, so I bought a blue dye and a green dye and realised I was going to have to create my own mix of the two in order to get more of a bluey-green.

The first attempt was so frustrating because the colour was perfect, and I managed to get a smooth graduated ombre effect buuuttt... I ended up with loads of holes in the fabric. Polyester usually needs to be dyed in a boiling dye bath to get the colour to actually stick. But I discovered that (presumably because it's tulle so the threads are more spread out) for the veil this just led to the fabric more or less melting in the heat. So I had to adapt the method somewhat to still use heat but not so much as to melt the tulle.

Second attempt was better but had quite an obvious dye line at one point in the veil, rather than a gradual fade-out of the colour.

Third time was the charm! I don't have a picture yet but I'll share when I do :) 

 

New bride

cloudatlas wrote (see post):

Haha thank you <3 I love them too! :)

Another area where I tried to add a touch of colour (after a few attempts) was...

The Veil

After trying on dresses, I knew I wanted a veil and I was confident the best style to go with my dress was quite a plain veil with a cut edge. I preferred a single-tier veil (I just think I would get really annoyed with something hanging over my face!) and was pretty confident I wanted a floor-length veil as again I just felt it went best with the dress.

I discovered the concept of ombre veils on Pinterest and I just fell in love with the idea, I thought it was such an awesome way to get a bit of colour into the outfit while keeping it 'wedding'-y. Given my colour scheme the choice was either green or blue, and given my choice of shoes and tights, green felt like it made the most sense! 

Some inspo:

I didn't want to spend a fortune on it and I found it quite difficult to find an ombre veil that wasn't crazy expensive online, so.... I decided to make my own. I bought three very cheap veils online from JJ's House (heard mixed reviews about this website but I found them quite good). After a lot of back-and-forth with a member of staff at the supplier (I needed to know whether the tulle was made from nylon or polyester, because different types of material need different types of dye, but the lady answering my emails kept just saying it was made of tulle lol!) I bought some polyester fabric dye. It's not easy to find in the right colour, so I bought a blue dye and a green dye and realised I was going to have to create my own mix of the two in order to get more of a bluey-green.

The first attempt was so frustrating because the colour was perfect, and I managed to get a smooth graduated ombre effect buuuttt... I ended up with loads of holes in the fabric. Polyester usually needs to be dyed in a boiling dye bath to get the colour to actually stick. But I discovered that (presumably because it's tulle so the threads are more spread out) for the veil this just led to the fabric more or less melting in the heat. So I had to adapt the method somewhat to still use heat but not so much as to melt the tulle.

Second attempt was better but had quite an obvious dye line at one point in the veil, rather than a gradual fade-out of the colour.

Third time was the charm! I don't have a picture yet but I'll share when I do :) 

 

I would love to see a picture,  I've been swooning over dip dyed veils but had tried to push it from my mind as they are so expensive. I never thought to do it myself.  Can you explain the method you found most successful?  I might buy a cheap veil and be brave.

Wedding addict

I'll post a pic of the veil at some point but it's hard to find somewhere in the house I can get a good shot! :) I actually was thinking of maybe going into business hand dying veils because it was a real pain to get the knack of it and I feel there's a niche in the market for ones that aren't insanely expensive. 

Basically the method that worked involved having a bucket of just-off-the-boil dye next to the sink and kind of moving the veil quickly between the hot dye and the cold tap :) 

Flowergirls

This weekend our family from Japan arrived and we've been having so much fun with them! We also went shopping for our flowergirl outfits. It went really smoothly, there were some gorgeous dresses in Monsoon that were perfect for our colour scheme. Only slight issue was that one of the girls threw a wobbly when she had to take her dress off haha! We also found some lovely matching shoes in Next. Both the dresses and the shoes are super sparkly, the girls look absolutely adorable in them. I'll see if I can find a picture!

Edit: found one!

Bridezilla

Oh the veil sounds gorgeous, a very clever idea and a good idea to sell them I think! Your shoes and tights are fab, love irregular choice shoes. Your venue is beautiful, I would be pretty fed up of the changes they’ve made without telling you, pleased the can make some changes to accommodate your guests though.