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Love island

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Bridezilla

MrsM no i've not seen it, however I'm not surprised that they've issued advice to people in controlling relationships. His behaviour makes my blood run cold as I recognise what he's doing and that's how it starts. It's horrible.

Julia I had to cover my eyes when they were doing the photoshoot, it was so fake!

MrsC I agree, she is talking like they're married and it's a bit daft, especially as that's exactly what she did to Kendall. I like how Josh pointed out to Laura and was completely ignored.

I can't remember which contestant it was but someone from last series said that a day in there feels like a week so you do develop intense feelings for someone more quickly than you would on the outside.

Does anyone else think Ellie is playing a bit of a game? I don't think she's that into Alex but knows it'll make her popular. I don't see any spark or connection there at all, as much as Alex wants there to be!

Bridezilla

Yes agree, when Alex spoke to Ellie about the recoupling then kissed her, she looked like she wasn't really bothered!

My planning thread: http://www.youandyourwedding.co.uk/forum/your-planning-threads/town-centre-barn-wedding---august-2019/452338.html

Bridezilla

TheLegacyofMrsM wrote (see post):

Have you seen that the charity Women's Aid are issuing advice for women about identifying emotional abuse, using Adams behaviour as an example? I wonder if at some point he will get pulled from the show?

That meme about Rosies walk made me laugh though! 

I was just coming to post this! It's so triggering watching him and I hope against hope that he's kicked out. It's not fair to  any woman to assist him in trapping them into an abusive relationship.

Bridezilla

Did anyone watch tonights? Zara is winding me up, Adam is quite clearly a total snake but how naive is she. Asking him all these questions about Rosie and getting reassurance that he’s not going to leave her  someone else. I don’t trust him as far as I could throw him.

Wedding addict

Zara is winding me right up! And it’s been pointed out she looks like super nanny which has tickled me. 

Is Adam really abusive?? Isn’t there a difference between being a git and being abusive? I mean they were not even in an actual relationship. This is not in his defence just think may be that’s a stretch.... although I wait to be proved otherwise! 

Xx

Bridezilla

I think he is being abusive, actually. What he did to her was gaslighting. He seems very manipulative. Although, as I’m trying to keep in mind, it’s a heavily edited and engineered reality tv show, so what we see might not necessarily be the truth!

Bridezilla

Personally I think Adam is manipulative and sly and selfish, but by treating Rosie and Kendall badly I'm not sure I can jump to calling him an abuser. He displays some horrible traits and I recognise them as warning signs for some more sinister behaviour. But I think calls to have him pulled out are a bit much.

In other news how cringe was Rosie?! The new guy pretty much said he didn't fancy her and yet she was still all over him!

Wedding addict

I have read the thing and they simply say Adam's behaviour is a red flag rather than actually abusive - I think I am on board with that. I do think making a big thing of it all over the news as they have is actually unfair to him. Say he is an arse and a twat all you want, but I think it's gone a bit far now. The whole show is set up to create these situations and Adam is a player in the game. He's on Love Island for gods sake, the whole premise is to couple up with people you can't possibly really like that much since you only have 6 to choose from. You are pretty much set up to just pick the one with the nicest bottom and best under boob on show (what the hell is up with that).

Rosie is something else. I loved her asking Sam 'why didn't you say you fancied me?' - ummmmm well.....  Mortifying. I don't think she has much shame. I personally think she is rather awful and the worst example of a strong independent woman since Katie Price.

Bridezilla

Oh don't get me wrong, I certainly think he is playing a game and he is supposed to be doing that. I don't think choosing someone else is anything sinister.

What didn't sit right with me was when he and Rosie were talking and he was completely twisting it round and blaming her behaviour (which was in retaliation to his!) for him becoming interested in someone else, and then sitting smirking in her face when she was quite obviously in bits. I'm lucky I've never encountered any form of emotional abuse, and based on what I've read on gaslighting etc (thanks Mumsnet!), to me it certainly seems to be in that category/ veering towards it. 

But, as I said in my original message, I'm very conscious that it is a show set up to create these situations and dramatise things. 

Can't stand the underboob, or the thong halfway up your bum thing- surely it is mega uncomfortable? 

I actually really hope Rosie goes. I find her an embarrassment. 

Wedding addict

I agree it was awful to see him smirking as she cried and try to turn it all on her. Although also I don't think it's beyond the realms of possibility she had been sulking about and acting like a witch all day Anyway - I think we all agree he is a shit. It's just interesting really, where the line is. 

The underboob is just insane. I just keep staring at the screen occasionally saying - is that supposed to be sexy? It just looks like your top doesn't fit. Why bother with the top at all? Thongs and me have never got on. 

xx

 

 

 

 

Bridezilla

Yes he definitely is that. And his comment back to Sam about "do you want me to teach you how to train whilst your in here then".. I was like oh come on.

Apparently Missguided have styled them all so that explains some of the more out there outfits. 

I'm looking forward to tonight!

Bridezilla

Rach371 wrote (see post):

Personally I think Adam is manipulative and sly and selfish, but by treating Rosie and Kendall badly I'm not sure I can jump to calling him an abuser. He displays some horrible traits and I recognise them as warning signs for some more sinister behaviour. But I think calls to have him pulled out are a bit much.

In other news how cringe was Rosie?! The new guy pretty much said he didn't fancy her and yet she was still all over him!

I don’t know. I once went out with a guy who would say things to upset me, and then would blame it on me or say I upset myself. He would openly tell me he didn’t want me at events with him, and say the most horrendous things to me, but all the while made me feel guilty and like i’d done something wrong. He‘d make fun of my clothes and say things like that “red lipstick makes you look cheap.” I can see similarities in Adam, and I would class what I went through as emotional abuse. Luckily my future husband is the most amazing sensitive man, and that relationship actually shaped what happened next and brought me to him! 

I think the problem is that the words “emotional abuse” are emotive and get a knee-jerk reaction from the public. We think “that’s a bit dramatic” or ”it’s not as bad as that”, whereas actually it happens a lot more than we realise. 

Sorry to be a Debbie downer! I just think it’s easy to brush over things like this. X

My planning thread: 

http://www.youandyourwedding.co.uk/forum/your-planning-threads/our-sussex-barn-wedding---july-2018wed/440703.html

Bridezilla

FutureMrsTracey wrote (see post):
Rach371 wrote (see post):

Personally I think Adam is manipulative and sly and selfish, but by treating Rosie and Kendall badly I'm not sure I can jump to calling him an abuser. He displays some horrible traits and I recognise them as warning signs for some more sinister behaviour. But I think calls to have him pulled out are a bit much.

In other news how cringe was Rosie?! The new guy pretty much said he didn't fancy her and yet she was still all over him!

I don’t know. I once went out with a guy who would say things to upset me, and then would blame it on me or say I upset myself. He would openly tell me he didn’t want me at events with him, and say the most horrendous things to me, but all the while made me feel guilty and like i’d done something wrong. He‘d make fun of my clothes and say things like that “red lipstick makes you look cheap.” I can see similarities in Adam, and I would class what I went through as emotional abuse. Luckily my future husband is the most amazing sensitive man, and that relationship actually shaped what happened next and brought me to him! 

I think the problem is that the words “emotional abuse” are emotive and get a knee-jerk reaction from the public. We think “that’s a bit dramatic” or ”it’s not as bad as that”, whereas actually it happens a lot more than we realise. 

Sorry to be a Debbie downer! I just think it’s easy to brush over things like this. X

I do agree, I was in an emotionally abusive relationship too and I feel like I know more than some about the warning signs. However, it's an easy phrase to throw around and not always completely accurate. he's a complete arse though that much is true.

I feel sad for Rosie that's she's gone but I'm not surprised, she wasn't particularly subtle with the new guy even when he didn't fancy her!

Bridezilla

FutureMrsTracey wrote (see post):
Rach371 wrote (see post):

Personally I think Adam is manipulative and sly and selfish, but by treating Rosie and Kendall badly I'm not sure I can jump to calling him an abuser. He displays some horrible traits and I recognise them as warning signs for some more sinister behaviour. But I think calls to have him pulled out are a bit much.

In other news how cringe was Rosie?! The new guy pretty much said he didn't fancy her and yet she was still all over him!

I don’t know. I once went out with a guy who would say things to upset me, and then would blame it on me or say I upset myself. He would openly tell me he didn’t want me at events with him, and say the most horrendous things to me, but all the while made me feel guilty and like i’d done something wrong. He‘d make fun of my clothes and say things like that “red lipstick makes you look cheap.” I can see similarities in Adam, and I would class what I went through as emotional abuse. Luckily my future husband is the most amazing sensitive man, and that relationship actually shaped what happened next and brought me to him! 

I think the problem is that the words “emotional abuse” are emotive and get a knee-jerk reaction from the public. We think “that’s a bit dramatic” or ”it’s not as bad as that”, whereas actually it happens a lot more than we realise. 

Sorry to be a Debbie downer! I just think it’s easy to brush over things like this. X

I think I the fact that I'm the 3rd person in a row, in a very small focus group (this thread!) to say I've been in an emotionally abusive relationship goes to show that it's really not that uncommon and it's not just being thrown around too easily. Unfortunately my previous relationship ended in physicality and that wouldn't have gotten to that point without the emotional abusive and manipulation.

Bridezilla

Awhelenqt wrote (see post):
FutureMrsTracey wrote (see post):
Rach371 wrote (see post):

Personally I think Adam is manipulative and sly and selfish, but by treating Rosie and Kendall badly I'm not sure I can jump to calling him an abuser. He displays some horrible traits and I recognise them as warning signs for some more sinister behaviour. But I think calls to have him pulled out are a bit much.

In other news how cringe was Rosie?! The new guy pretty much said he didn't fancy her and yet she was still all over him!

I don’t know. I once went out with a guy who would say things to upset me, and then would blame it on me or say I upset myself. He would openly tell me he didn’t want me at events with him, and say the most horrendous things to me, but all the while made me feel guilty and like i’d done something wrong. He‘d make fun of my clothes and say things like that “red lipstick makes you look cheap.” I can see similarities in Adam, and I would class what I went through as emotional abuse. Luckily my future husband is the most amazing sensitive man, and that relationship actually shaped what happened next and brought me to him! 

I think the problem is that the words “emotional abuse” are emotive and get a knee-jerk reaction from the public. We think “that’s a bit dramatic” or ”it’s not as bad as that”, whereas actually it happens a lot more than we realise. 

Sorry to be a Debbie downer! I just think it’s easy to brush over things like this. X

I think I the fact that I'm the 3rd person in a row, in a very small focus group (this thread!) to say I've been in an emotionally abusive relationship goes to show that it's really not that uncommon and it's not just being thrown around too easily. Unfortunately my previous relationship ended in physicality and that wouldn't have gotten to that point without the emotional abusive and manipulation.

When you say it like that it's pretty depressing! My exs behaviour was the definition of gaslighting and I'm still living with the scars from it now. 

Bridezilla

I've caught up on two of the three episodes I missed as my parents were down and I'm starting to not enjoy this series. I've been in an emotionally abusive relationship and just hate to see how Adam just tells the same lies to each girl he's trying to seduce and blames the other girl completely. It's disgusting and I'm getting to the point where it isn't entertaining. I'm glad Rosie had enough about her to call time on it and take some of the initiative away from him. I think Zara is a naive fool. 

I'm not comfortable reading all these articles about exs going in... Ex on the beach is just f*cling about with people, I think it's horrid they'd put Jack's ex in just to try and rock Dani and Jack. Fair one if it's new people, that's what they signed up for, but exs just feels a bit low.

I think I might be too naive for Love Island 😂 I want people to be happy, not messed around with! 

"I am learning to trust the journey, even when I do not understand it"

Follow my TTC journey on Instagram @the_truth_about_ttc

Blog is https://oneletterdifferentblog.wordpress.com/

Bridezilla

TheLegacyofMrsM wrote (see post):

I've caught up on two of the three episodes I missed as my parents were down and I'm starting to not enjoy this series. I've been in an emotionally abusive relationship and just hate to see how Adam just tells the same lies to each girl he's trying to seduce and blames the other girl completely. It's disgusting and I'm getting to the point where it isn't entertaining. I'm glad Rosie had enough about her to call time on it and take some of the initiative away from him. I think Zara is a naive fool. 

I'm not comfortable reading all these articles about exs going in... Ex on the beach is just f*cling about with people, I think it's horrid they'd put Jack's ex in just to try and rock Dani and Jack. Fair one if it's new people, that's what they signed up for, but exs just feels a bit low.

I think I might be too naive for Love Island 😂 I want people to be happy, not messed around with! 

Oooh I didn't know there were rumours of exes going in! If they put Jack's ex in it will clearly be to try and reflect feathers with him and Dani - who's relationship has been going smoothly! I would hate that as I love them as a couple! X

My planning thread: 

http://www.youandyourwedding.co.uk/forum/your-planning-threads/our-sussex-barn-wedding---july-2018wed/440703.html

Bridezilla

I don't want the exes to go in but I do want something to mix it up a bit! I don't want anything to come between jack and Dani...

Bridezilla

FIf someone wants to get to Jack and dani they'll have to go through me first! 💪💪💪